Mencken Sees Tranquility Arise in U.S. From Ashes of Prohibition.
Famed Writer Declares "It Will Not Banish Drunks
But Aid Others"
By Sheila Graham, British correspondent now in America (1933)
BALTIMORE, Nov. 11.[, 1933] - I wanted to know what repeal of prohibition will do to the way of life of the average American, whether it will restore temperance to the home, end the "wild party," make connoisseurs out of drunkards, bring back a taste for good food along with good drink and, in short, launch an era in which the "art of living" will flourish as they say it used to in the dear old days.
And so I came down to pleasant Baltimore to see that American who has been described to me as the one "best liver" among his fellow countrymen - that is to say, one whom despite his fulminations against the American character, appreciates most keenly the color and glamour of life in the United States and who, despite American laws and conventions, has managed - they told me - to live his own life pleasantly and well.
What Mencken Says
Meet H. L. Mencken, author, critic and editor, as he seats himself before his great desk in the library of his home, where he has retired from the direction of the American Mercury to read, study, write books and enjoy the years in manners and pastimes becoming - to borrow one of his own phrases - to the "civilized man." And hear what Mencken has to say about America and repeal. By your leave, Mr. Mencken, I shall present the interview in the dialogue form which you and your friend, Mr. Nathan, once made so popular in the Smart Set.
Miss Graham: What are you going to do about the decease of the Eighteenth Amendment, Mr. Mencken? I am sure an era of tranquility will arise from its dead ashes. They have drawn your teeth of attack, I am afraid.
Mr. Mencken: Don't worry, Miss Graham. Repeal itself will have a soothing effect, but the American people face a host of curses and pestilences, and so they will probably enjoy very little tranquility for years to come.
Won't Banish Drunks
Miss Graham: That is a big relief. But aren't you afraid it will mean the end of drunkenness?
Mr. Mencken: Not a bit. People who have been afflicted by God with the inclination to drunkenness will go on getting drunk. The only change there will be is that those who have no desire to get drunk will not be forced into it. That necessity has lain very heavily upon them during all the years of prohibition.
Miss Graham: Have you been forced to drink against your own inclinations, Mr. Mencken?
Mr. Mencken: Not exactly, but others have. My pastor, for example, is a broad churchman who likes to go into society. He told me the other day that during the 13 black years he had got down at least 15,000 drinks of hard liquor unwillingly - perhaps half of them as mere gestures against prohibition, and the rest as indications of his confidence in the bootleggers of his parishioners. Now he is on beer again and a happy man.
Miss Graham: I'm hoping the re-appearance of wine in restaurants will improve the food in this country. Americans pour scorn on the food they eat in England, but I think their own is worse. I have suffered indigestion ever since I came to this country five months ago. Do you think America is in for some kitchen reform?
Mr. Mencken: I doubt it. Americans, talking one with another, have a congenital antipathy to decent food. They eat bad stuff by choice and heave it in as fast as possible. This despite the fact their cooks have the best raw materials in the world. Nowhere else is there better meat or a wider range of good vegetables. But American cookery still grounds itself on English cookery and is thus but once removed from cannibalism.
Actually Lazy
Miss Graham: Perhaps you are right. But here is something Americans could copy with advantage from the English. A quieter method of living. The American rushes round, is very difficult to reach in his office, always looks busy, thinks he's important, and in actual fact accomplishes much less than the Englishman, who works and lives quietly.
Mr. Mencken: The American thinks he's a busy important man, but that is a figment of his imagination. He is actually a lazy fellow. No other man works shorter hours or takes longer holidays. The appearance of rushing is mainly due to the fact that every American tries to do his day's work in half a day. Naturally he usually does it badly. Very few Americans are competent at their trades.
Take any example you choose. Consider our policemen. Our novelists. Our bankers. Or if you want to descend to humor, the brain trust. The United States is the utopia of quacks. It is difficult in this country, Miss Graham, for a man who really knows his business to make a living. The most a genuinely learned and honest lawyer can hope for is the patronage of some rich shyster.
A really good medical man is outrun by flashy quacks and must live on their leavings. If Shakespeare came back to earth tomorrow, even under some such grand old American name as Ginsberg or O'Brien, he'd have a hard time getting his plays produced on Broadway. I know a banker who in the palmy days of three or four years ago, guarded his depositors' money very carefully, never speculated with it and was ready when the crash came to pay them 100 cents on the dollar. He is a relatively poor man today. He had to face the competition of hordes of swindlers, many of whom are now rich and in receipt of high public honors.
Miss Graham: What I cannot understand, Mr. Mencken, is why Americans moan about depression and starvation when the meanest pauper feeds better than the British workingman. I expected to find women in rags, instead they are wearing furs. I expected to find men shabby and without adequate homes. I found them living very comfortably?
Charity Mongers
Mr. Mencken: The Americans have always lived comfortably - that is, according to their lights. There is seldom any actual want in the country, even in the midst of depressions. All the gaudy talk you hear about starvation comes from professional charity-mongers. They have got their hooves into the public trough and are determined to stay there.
Their figures are laughable. I haven't the slightest doubt that if they were forced to publish lists of the people actually starving they would put down my name. Yet, I eat regularly, have five suits of clothes and the last time I saw the figure of the banking auditor, I had nearly $300 to my credit.
Miss Graham: Yes, you look very well fed, and I can see why you live very comfortably. I envy you. I can't think of any greater reward in a future life than to be another Mr. Mencken. Can you?
Mr. Mencken (rather testily): Yes, I can. I'd like to be a hermit in live in a place where bores and nuisances couldn't reach me. I'd then be as happy as the boy who killed his father. Please don't think I mean you, Miss Graham, when I talk of bores. I'm delighted that you came to see me. I'm talking of the pest who devotes himself to demanding the attention of strangers. It's a kind of puerile egotism. No doubt Freud has it on his list of complexes. Write a book, and swarms of such insects will be down on you.